Pete and I attended our first (and undoubtedly last) wedding show at the weekend. We decided to go after a leaflet dropped through our door advertising the Wedding Fayre at Kingswood House, a stately home set in acres of glorious South East London housing estate. We wouldn't normally have been interested but the presence of the letter Y in the word Fayre alone suggested we just had to attend.
It was as spectacular and sophisticated an event as you would expect a Wedding Fayre in South East London to be. Highlights included swans made from real feathers and bad papier mache, chocolate stilettos, more pink fairylights than have ever previously co-existed in one place and a Nat King Cole tribute act called Colin.
However, my attention was drawn to a stall in the corner where two ladies sat surrounded by balloons. We wandered over and they showed us a photo album of the different balloon decorations you can have for your wedding, of which there are many thousands.
"Or how about this?" said one of the ladies, pulling out a huge, silver, heart-shaped balloon. "You can have your names and the date of your wedding printed on it, underneath where it says 'Our Special Day'."
"I like it," I said. "But can you change the wording to 'My Special Day'?"
The lady looked a bit confused, so I didn't bother asking if there was room to insert an extra word between 'Special' and 'Day'.
"What's the colour scheme for your wedding?" said the other lady.
Pete and I looked at each other blankly. "Umm... I'm not sure we really have one."
The air became suddenly still. The balloon ladies stared at us, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, as if they were Victorian spinsters and we had just told them our hobbies were gin and buggery.
"But... When did you say you are getting married?" one of them managed to stutter.
"July. The 24th. Not very long I know. Ha ha."
"And... You haven't decided on a colour scheme?"
"Um, no. But, you know, five months is long enough to decide what colour the balloons should be, isn't it, ha ha. Ha?"
It sounds like we need to decide on a colour scheme pretty sharpish. Why not vote in this week's poll to help us decide?