At least the cake's sorted

As everyone knows, cake can make or break a wedding. The cake itself symbolises unity and festivity, while the age-old tradition of cutting the cake represents the desire the couple will have to stab each other within just a few short years.

Ideas for my special f***ing cake have so far included a spun-sugar model of the Crystal Palace transmission tower and a full-size fondant icing unicorn. (Or perhaps just the head, with a marzipan apple in its mouth.) But once again, Jon F has triumphed by coming up with this:

Stunning.