A hopeful request

Subject: Szmanda

From: ellie@*********.net

Date: 16/12/09 13:07

To: info@bwr-la.com

Hi there, I understand you represent Eric Szmanda, star of CSI: Las Vegas and the (to my mind woefully overlooked) romantic comedy '100 Girls'.

I am a big fan of CSI: Las Vegas (it is my third-favourite TV show) and Eric Szmanda's work in particular. It is for this reason that when picking a date for my wedding next year I chose 24th July - Eric Szmanda's birthday!

I do appreciate Eric Szmanda may be otherwised engaged on his birthday, perhaps sharing cake with Marg Helgenberger and George Eads. However, I would be honoured if he would show respect for the fact that it is also MY special day by attending my wedding.

The wedding will be in London which I know is a long way to come. However we would be happy to put Eric Szmanda up for a few days and I am sure he would enjoy exploring the surrounding area, comparing the sunny boulevards of LA to the streets of Lewisham etc.

If Eric Szmanda is not available, I would consider extending the invitation to any of your other celebrity clients who have birthdays on 24th July. However please note space is very tight so it would have to be someone of Eric Szmanda's caliber or above, i.e. no one from NCIS or Bones (Boreanaz being the obvious exception).

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Ellie

Fingers crossed!

Speed dating

On reflection, we decided to have just one wedding after all and we have set the date! Following extensive discussions ("What about July? I know we said September but frankly I'd rather just get it over with so I can stop worrying about how much napkins cost" "OK"), we have decided to have our wedding on Saturday 24th July 2010.

"That will be fine," I thought. "Seven months is plenty of time to organise what is basically a big stupid ****ing party."

Then I started telling people we are getting married in July. People who have never been married go, "Cool." People who have been married go, "WHAT??"

Then they say things like, "Well, you have a lot to do," or "Gosh, you have a big challenge there," or "Are you ****ing inSANE?"

Then I think they see the terror in my eyes because they say, "Ha ha don't worry, it will be fine, ha ha."

I know they are trying to make me feel better. The only way they could actually make me feel better is by saying, "Ha ha don't worry, I took the precaution of booking a venue, florist, car and photographer for you some years ago, and I know a professional caterer who will do all the food for free, and I have trained a team of singing mice to make your dress." No one ever says this.

Still. July 24th is an AUSPICIOUS DAY, judging by my extensive research on Wikipedia. It is of course the day slavery was abolished in Chile (1823), the World Chess Federation was founded in Paris (1924) and 48 people were killed in a fire at a home for the elderly in Pittsburgh, Pennysylvania (1931).

It is also the birthday of Alexandre Dumas, Robert Graves and Luke Mitchell ("Scottish murderer"). Even better, Jennifer Lopez! And best of all - Eric Szmanda, who plays Greg Sanders in my third-favourite TV show, CSI: Las Vegas! TRULY an auspicious day.

SZMANDA!

Perhaps we should invite him to the wedding?